Ventured over to the Round Rock Outlet Mall this weekend, a high-priority strike with my mom in town. When you're the baby of the family - by a decade and a half - a guy is simply never too old to get some new socks and undies on mom's tab. I hung in there for an hour or so, then assumed the bored-dad look on the bored-dad benches while the ladies hit their stride. I just think I'm in shape....until I play racquetball or go shopping.
By the way, I'd known, at the age of eight or so, that if I put my last name on a bunch of shirts, jeans, shoes and accessories, that it would make me millions. But then I went out to play and forgot about it. Fast forward to 2008 and behold the Mudd Line - J.C. Penney's signature teen collection. Somebody's rolling in dough on my name's behalf, while I'm still getting snickers from convenience store clerks and doormen and even the annual "Hey, your name is Mudd! Hee-hee."
Life, not fair.
On the subject of malls....
If you ever want to feel (1) skinny (2) well-dressed/groomed or (3) like a good parent, just go to a mall (or a festival, or most any high-traffic public locale). Most pointedly, spotted a couple of kids on leashes there. Now, I know kids can be hard to corral and easy to misplace, have a slippery one myself. And yes, the kid "leashes" of today come disguised as cuddly backpacks with cartoon characters, as opposed to the harsh harnesses of yesteryear But c'mon, a duck is a duck, and a leash is a leash.
How about a nice stroller for a ne'er do well three-year-old? Hell, those things are practically Cadillacs these days. I want one....for myself.
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Why is it, when I'm trying to teach McCoy a new word or 'trick" or life lesson, that I talk SO LOUDLY? Why do I turn into Ashton Kutcher?
McCoy, this is a RED CAR!!
McCoy, do you see the BIRDIE?!?
McCoy, what's the COW SAY?!?
McCoy, sniff the OTHER END of the magic marker!!
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