Heartburn

So in honor of my birthday last night, Jenn and I bypassed our typical fare - Box 'o Fish Wednesdays at Long John Silver's, plus a late flick at the AdultPlex - and braved a restaurant with cloth napkins. Thought we'd tote along the entire family; in hindsight, not a great move.

The food was great - Gumbo's Salmon Rockefeller is the only plate I've ever ordered in which I wept openly upon its completion - but the kids, well, were not. McCoy seems have reached a stage in which he's as presentable in public as Andy Dick. The kid ate four Cheerios and then went to work, squirming from lap to lap, more pitchy with each pass. I've taken to calling him Dustin. As in Dustin Diamond. As in Screech. (My apologies to the fellow partrons - of most any Round Rock establishment circa 7p-9p last night.)

McKenzie, bless her heart, fared worse. There were a couple of other kids in tow at dinner - my niece Juliet and McK's buddy Michaela (is anybody named Susan or Ann or Betty anymore?) - and the trio went outside to kill some time before the grub arrived. Never one to shy from the spotlight, McKenzie was apparently doing the Stop-Drop-and-Roll bit in the lawn - times 40 or so. When she ran back inside, the poor kid was hysterical and looked like she'd come down with the chicken pox - only she's already had the chicken pox. Ants. Fire ants. 'Bout 70 love bites in all at last count.

So "dessert" went like this. Me doing the Neanderthal shuffle (to do - bend halfway over and follow partner closely) with McCoy outside while Jenn and McKenzie hustled to the pharmacy to douse the kid in Benadryl. When we left, I think I spied the management hanging a 'Not' Wanted poster of our family.

Forty felt like, well, forty.

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Muscles, whether residing in a male or female specimen, change by challenging them. Don't be afraid to push your body to the limit. Remember my motto: Burning is good...unless it's during urination.

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Joke 'O The Day

Man walks into a psychiatrist's office, completely naked and wrapped in cellophane from head to toe.

Psychiatrist: Sir, I can clearly see you're (your) nuts.